A Blessing and a Loss

My youngest child just turned 15.  One more year and he will be driving. 

I've been thinking about that a lot and my mind wanders to other events in my kids' lives where I've looked forward with anticipation and excitement and then - when they happened - I was disappointed.

For instance, I like every other mother on the planet could not wait for my oldest to start walking.  He was big and heavy and he squirmed a lot when he was held.  He did not like sitting in his stroller.  So his father and I were excited when he started the process of learning to walk.  We'd clap when he stood up by himself.  Encourage him to "walk" around the house hanging onto furniture to keep his balance.  We'd sit on the floor and pass him back and forth, waiting for that first step on his own.  Then one day when I picked him up from daycare they said "He took a step today!" (this was typical - the BIG milestones always happened at daycare or my in-laws).  I took him home and set him down.  He tried to walk.  He was wobbly but it was there - he knew what it felt like and he liked it!  In my ignorance, I was excited and relieved.  No more lugging him on my hip or pushing him in the stroller.  We were free!

The joke was on me though.  As soon as he started walking - he took off and never looked back.  Gone were the days when I could control where I walked.  No -  I walked where he walked, usually 4-5 steps behind - running.  Just as I'd reel him in - off he would go.  As a parent you understand.  Yes - it was nice that he was walking - but it was NOT nice that I had to follow him!!

So now my youngest is near driving age.  Another milestone and another loss.  This one may be more traumatic than exhausting.  See - when your child gets their license, they have freedom.  Freedom to go where they want or need to - freedom to leave the house without you.  It sounds like a blessing - no more car pool, no more waiting for practice to be over, no more hurrying out of work so he won't be the last one to be picked up.  But - what you lose is much bigger - you lose time with them.  It may not occur to you that you spend a lot of time in the car with your child and in that time you talk a lot (hopefully) and you get an idea of what is going on in their life.  You hear about progress made in school, about friends and you hear your child - talking to you.  It seems like a small thing, but in these busy times - it is not.  It is gold. 

So - I begin the mourning process for time with my youngest.  Soon he will be on his own - free - and gone...

Want to get more done? Get more to do!!

I have finally realized that the busier I am, the more productive I am. Wait - isn't that obvious? Well - yes, but what I mean is that when I have more to do - I do it better than if I have just a few things to do. I think it's human nature. You have some free time, so you think, I'll do it later, then when it's time to get it done - you are way behind because you spent a lot of time doing nothing.

I've tried to explain this to my 19 year old son which is really a waste of time. If you have teenagers, you know that they know everything and they don't want to hear what you have to say.

So, I'll let him figure it out on his own. Maybe in 30 years - he'll get it. Until then he'll have to learn the hard way - the way his mother did.

Okay...

I'm back. I read a devotional this morning on Proverbs 31. Traci Miles challenged her readers to spend 30 minutes alone each day with God for the next five days. I have accepted the challenge. It is part of a five day "Faith Zone Challenge" to get closer to God so I can hear what He is telling me.

This is definitely a "God-incidence"! It's amazing how He will place a blog, article or verse in front of me just when I need to hear it.

So - my plan is to get up early in the morning and spend 30 minutes praying, reading the bible and just being quiet. Now - I get up early to do my Bible study, but it usually isn't 30 minutes worth and while I'm doing it I'm thinking of all of the things I need to do that day.

Traci challenges us to sit quietly and listen. So, that is what I am going to do. Wish me luck! I'll let you know how it turns out tomorrow!

I've been thinking...

I started this blog during a time of unrest. As you can see - it didn't last long. I have a pattern in my life - I get enthusiastic about something - go full bore into it and then - poof! the newness is gone, my enthusiasm wanes and I abandon it.
So - I am going to start this again and STICK WITH IT!
Why the "re-start"?
I am tired of not doing any of the things I say I am going to do!
I spend a lot of time wasting time - do you?
So - with this blog, I will attempt to discipline myself to start something and stay with it!
Have you seen the movie - Julie & Julia? Can you guess why I was also inspired by that movie to start this. In the movie, Julie has a goal - a purpose for her blog. It takes on a life of its own once she starts it. She starts and she doesn't stop - until she is almost finished. It takes over her life, her marriage and her job! But, in the end, she realizes her goal and she lives happily ever after (at least through the credits).
The point is - I am inspired. Now whether this will take or not is up to me.
I am praying that it does - asking for help from God - which isn't a bad thing. I may have a chance!