"Didn't I tell you?"

This afternoon I rushed out of work at the last possible minute to make it to my son’s school to pick him up at 5:00. He needed to be picked up because he didn’t ride the bus home. He didn’t ride the bus home because he had to stay after school. He had to stay after school to serve detention. He had to serve detention because he didn’t turn in his signed Progress Report. Why did he have to turn in his signed Progress Report? Because he didn’t turn in all of his English work and his grade is – well – less than stellar.

So – I make it to the school at 5:00, drive into the parking lot and pull into a close (!) parking space. I wait (I’m not bored; I’m on my iPhone, playing Scrabble). And wait, and wait, and wait. He’s later than he usually is after D-Hall (Yes, we’ve done this before – that’s another story). So – using the technology at hand, I text him –

“im here”

Response - “ok we r n the adetorioum” (English is not his strongest subject)


Me – “Do I have to come get u?” (I ask this because it is after five o’clock and sometimes the administrators lock the kids in the school until their parents come to get them – I think it is a conspiracy to make us feel even guiltier because we left our kids at school so late)

Him – “If u want to watch us”


Me (in my mind – huh?) “What r u doing?”


Him – “Playing”

By this time, I am putting the top up on the convertible and getting out of the car. Now playing in the auditorium in this case does not mean fun and games, it means playing a cello. He’s playing the cello, which means the orchestra is playing – which means there is a performance tonight. Guess what – I didn’t know about it!

So, I walk in to the auditorium and there they are – a small contingent of the Varsity Orchestra, playing a lovely melody behind a table on stage. On the front of the table hangs a large banner –

“National Junior Honor Society”

So now it is beginning to make sense. He is here – not to be inducted into the Honor Society (more on that later), but to provide musical entertainment during the induction ceremony. I sit down and watch. The teacher is conducting, the students are playing, there are other students in the auditorium bustling around, adjusting microphones, checking papers, etc. I sit there in among the preparations and smile. It looks like I’m going to get to hear an orchestra concert and watch other people’s children be inducted into the National Junior Honor Society tonight. I settle into my chair.

Now – five years ago I would have been irritated (to put it mildly), but tonight, I sit and watch. I observe the teacher, working with the orchestra. I watch the students, finding their mark, adjusting chairs, setting out candles. Soon, families start trickling in – I love to watch people. So, I quietly watch as parents find seats, younger siblings act out, and grandparents stand bewildered at the activity looking for a familiar face.

Thirty minutes before the ceremony is to start, the auditorium is buzzing. Orchestra squeaking, parents talking, flashbulbs popping, children crying – all of the familiar sounds of a middle school event. It is comforting somehow – this is the sixth year I’ve experienced middle school as a parent and it is predictable.

I think again about how I would have reacted five years ago – when my oldest child was in middle school. My attitude and demeanor would have been totally opposite. I would have been angry, frustrated, restless and just plain mad. Unfortunately, I would have taken it out on him (such is the burden of the oldest child – your parent is usually as immature as you). I have a pang of guilt and regret. It’s not something I can take back, but it is something I try everyday to replace.


Then it hits me, this turn of events is about forgiveness. Me forgiving my son for not telling me about the performance – he intended to tell me, but forgot. And me forgiving myself for not being more patient in my younger years – I was learning too.

Living in forgiveness is so much easier, so much more fulfilling and brings me so much closer to God. I pray that my children see that and strive to live it.
Oh – you want to know about the Honor Society? On the ride home, I ask my son –


“Weren’t you invited to be in the Honor Society?”


“Yeah – I was.” he answers.

“So – why didn’t you join?”


He shrugged and says, “I didn’t fill out the form.”

And that is that. Another opportunity to offer forgiveness – and to give a lecture on the importance of joining the JHS so you can put it on your college application….